With accusations of Roger Clemens surfacing that he had an affair with country star, Mindy McCready, Clemens finally admitted during a press conference, to the affair to note he was disappointed McCready wasn’t more attractive. “Look at her. I’m Roger fucking Clemens.” He said incredulously.  “I’m a professional baseball player. I’m rich. I’m famous. I’m a God damn Hall of Famer. I could’ve gotten someone waaayyy hotter.  Look at that dildo Lance Armstrong.  That bitch ass pussy rides a bike, I think he’s only got one ball and he landed Cheryl Crow.  Fucking Dennis Rodman had Carmen Electra.” Clemens said that he had met McCready when she was fifteen years old and was banking on her becoming better looking with age. “You know the homely ones can turn a corner, but she is still going straight. I wish I was a better scout with shit like that.” Clemens said.  He then looked over at his wife and kids who were openly weeping at the time and then added. “My wife is better looking.  That defeats the whole purpose of having an affair, man.” Mrs. Clemens responded with more tears to which Roger requested his wife ‘tone it down’ because she was ‘embarrassing’.